Satire: Driving on a slippery slope

Lyn Loutfi
Contributing Writer

It is that time of year again when autumn is fast approaching, leaves are changing color, the weather is becoming cooler and it is starting to drizzle. I remember growing up enjoying the rain, staying outside, letting it fall on my face as I looked up in glee. I stuck my tongue out as I tasted the droplets with no care in the world.

Now, ten years later, I am still as excited when I wake up and see that it is raining as it implies a peaceful morning drive on the streets of Lebanon. I turn on the radio, and sing along all the way to Beirut. It is just another typical day, and if it were not for the floating trash next to me, I would not even have noticed that it is raining. Some of you might be revolted by the constant flooded roads, but hey, at least the state has finally implemented the new driving code.

Although we are being fined for crossing a white line that has not been visible since 2001, we should be proud of the little improvements. We should be proud that our roads are the only ones with asphalt so poorly deposited that it cracks during storms and generates a rollercoaster open for all.

We should commend Lebanese drivers for driving in such “special” conditions. Flooded streets, deplorable cars, no traffic lights, enduring those who drive like it is their first time playing GTA.

We have experienced it all and still manage to drive safely. Even though we have all been guilty of the random thoughts of breaking the law, we manage to hold it in like the good samaritans I am positive we all are.

Anyways, it is never actually our fault, it is always the other driver’s. Obviously, they should know by intuition that I am about to take that right, even if my blinkers are not on. They should also see that I am texting at the red light and not rush me.

Who do we blame, the city with its unique infrastructure, the antique cars with no tail light, the geniuses behind the wheel or better yet lets blame God for making it rain this morning.

Let us also pat the Ministry of Public Works and Transport on their backs for accomplishing the impossible. For all their ideas, I have never seen anyone accomplish so little with that much effort. To be fair, they have improved over the years. They made the driver’s license test harder and added an actual written exam. With questions like these (yes, this is real) we would be driving like Germans in no time.

But hey what do I know, I take a cab to university and we all know they are the best drivers on the grim streets of Lebanon.

Leave a Reply